What'd I do, now?

I guess I didn't care what was said about thinking of v*******.  I gave them the opportunity to take it back, but they didn't.  :(  They are making me look bad.  I have been trying to keep to myself somewhat.. I wonder if that walk didn't help.  I won't feel I deserve anything, in the end.  I mean, I live a certain way.  I want certain things.  Like, I want to be influential again in the arts and told I did a good job.  I want pleasant meetings with people and not have me end up like this!  I'm trying to be a certain personality!!